Intentionally Thankful

Over the summer and into the fall, our local power company contracted to have MANY of the mature trees in our neighborhood either trimmed drastically back or completely removed off of many private properties and along city streets. A neighborhood standby, family market, turned meat-and-three restaurant closed, the building sold, and subsequently bulldozed. Across the intersection a local church desperately needing more parking space took out their parsonage and yet another old tree that. It was that tree that used to shade the busy roadway and shed the most beautiful, vibrant red leaves every fall. - It was this last removal, of this tree that had reflected its Creator’s glory, so gloriously, that literally choked me up and made me cry.

I couldn’t figure out why at first. Why was this tree’s destruction such a big deal? Honestly, I am still not sure I completely understand. Maybe it was my hormones. Maybe it was just yet another reminder that the very little control I have over the circumstances of my life is just a mirage. Maybe it was just an indication how I am getting older and I have lived here long enough to see things cycle and change.

Today, I noticed another old building along another street being methodically taken apart by front loaders and backhoes. But instead of being sad, my emotions could better be described as angry and frustrated. Why couldn’t things stay the same?

As I prepped a graham cracker pie crust and a sweet potato casserole for tomorrow’s Thanksgiving Dinner, I found myself missing family members and family gatherings of Thanksgivings’ past. A melancholy feeling began settling into my chest and a longing for yesterdays’ joys instigated a growing, self-centered funk. Why did those days past so quickly? Why couldn’t those people be here now? Why did things have to change?

Then, laughter echoed into the kitchen. Big sister is home for the first time since early August and all three girls are ecstatic to be reunited. Songs are being sung, movie lines are being quoted and inside jokes are being told.

The family that will gather around our table tomorrow may be smaller in number. Our traditions may be transitioning some. The times, they are a changing. And, it is okay to mourn a little those who are gone. It is alright for me to miss the way things were. It is understandable for me to long for the people and the times and the things that used to define the holidays for me.

But . . .

If I allow my heart to stay there, for my feelings to overrun my mood and my mind to settle and stay in that place, I rob myself of today’s joys. I forget the good graces God has given and is giving and promises to give. So, instead, I choose to be intentionally thankful.

I have so very much to be thankful for even in and because of all the changes and transitions that God has brought into my life this year. Lists of gratitude could be written with endless entries, evidences of His great goodness to me and those I love.

But . . .

But I can’t stop there. I want to be intentional. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to reflect on the God who provided, provides and promises to provide all those items on my lists. I intentionally want to and will stop, be still and acknowledge Who He is.

By intentionally reflecting on His qualities, His characteristics, and His ways - my attention shifts from the craziness of the holidays, the changes the year has brought and the chaotic feelings that compete for my attention.

Tonight, I am choosing to be intentionally thankful for who my God is. As I do, I can literally feel that funk lift like the fog that rose from my neighborhood several mornings this week. My neighborhood may have a few less trees, be missing a gathering spot and a parsonage, but the evidences of my good God are still all over my life. As much as things change, He is still the same. His unwavering nature is what I am choosing to be the most thankful for this year. All the changes around me are simply serving as reminders that He does not alter. He does not turn. He does not change.

This is my present tense this Thanksgiving.