Just the Three of Us
I usually lay out my clothes the night before. It’s just one less thing I have to think about in the morning, one less decision I have to make. I don’t remember why I didn’t that particular night before, but on the morning of, I grabbed the white collared shirt, buttoned it up and layered the sweatshirt on top. It wasn’t until I was applying my mascara and saw the small markings on the right cuff, that I realized the shirt wasn’t mine. The black marks on the right cuff are his monogram. The shirt was Wally’s, not mine.
The tardy bell waits for no-one and I really didn’t have time to change. I asked him if it was okay if I wore his shirt that day as I rushed into the kitchen. He was making ham sandwiches for the girls’ lunches and I am not even sure he looked up when he responded with a typical, Wally “sure.”
He took Piper to her high school and I took Eliza to the middle school we share. I am not sure everything his day held, but mine took me to a lead teacher meeting with other English teachers from all over the district. As we discussed standards, data, and plans, I would occasionally catch a glimpse of his initials at my wrist as I wrote or typed or reached for a sip of coffee. Each time, I know I grinned.
The simple and understandable mistake I made getting ready that morning, turned into the sweetest blessing. With each notice of those letters, I was reminded of sweet memories that would transform my simple grins into full blown smiles. I am sure more than one of my colleagues wondered what was going on in my mind.
One of the first gifts I gave him was a similar monogramed, white dress shirt from Land’s End. When we were dating, I would often “borrow” one of his button- up shirts. I loved how they would smell of his cologne and how he still seemed close even when we were so far a part. For most our relationship at that point and all of our engagement, Wally and I were “long distance” before cell phones were common and when long distance phone bills were very real, very expensive things. Having one of his shirts with me, was like having a piece of him with me.
That’s how I felt in that meeting room, out to lunch with the other teachers and driving back across town - that a piece of Wally was with me. His initials, JWV, on my shirt were an outward sign to anyone looking that I am his and he is mine. Kinda like my wedding rings that I have worn every day for 27 years today.
Yes, today is our 27th anniversary. Twenty-seven years of more joys than tears, of moves, of waiting, of births, of deaths, of life’s changing seasons, and of ordinary, every days. There’s been plenty of beginnings and endings. We’ve laughed and learned. We’ve grieved and grown. We’ve done it all, the three of us.
Yes, the three of us. Our marriage was never just about Wally and me. We sought the Lord separately and He was the One who brought us together initially and then again and again and again - everyday for the last 27 years. We knew from the time we had our first date eating dessert at the Rafferty’s on Wilma Rudolph here in Clarksville, that God was somehow knitting our lives together.
Yes, there have been times that both of us, or one of us thought we knew better, when we’ve unintentionally hurt the other and needed to rely on the other’s good graces to forgive. But by His good grace those long days and sleepless nights have been relatively few. How can that be? Why would that be so?
God.
As we sought Him individually and together, He has always been gracious to allow us to find Him. He helps us see the best in each other and to believe all the good things He has promised. He has been our focus, our plumb line and our standard - not each other, not another couple, but Him. Simply and only Him.
We aren’t the same messed up people we were 27 years ago when we said our vows in front of family and friends in the fellowship of believers. Heavens, we aren’t the same crazy fools who thought we had figured out parenthood in the first few months of being first time parents. But we both know that we are still sinners saved by and daily dependent upon Him and His grace alone. He has been the one to gently guide us and kindly keep us through it all.
God has grown us and kept us closer as we’ve both sought Him. He has been the one to add “all these things,” and we’ve been the ones who has benefitted from how He has kept His promises to us. As He’s been true to His character and fulfilled His word, we’ve been graced with a deep, meaningful relationship that continues to mature as it ages.
Just as I could not imagine being married to anyone else, I cannot imagine what, or where, or even if, this marriage would have ever existed without God being the One to have and to hold us through good and bad, sickness and health, richer and poorer. God has been the constant throughout each day of these 27 years.
How blessed are we that we get to share this life with this other person whom God has specifically designed and designated for the other? He has used each of us to draw the other closer to Him and has made one of us stronger where the other was weaker.
God has taught us that our marriage isn’t a “have to,” but a “get to.” Just this week he sat through some middle school basketball games just to be with me. Just now, he made some hot tea with lemon and honey because I asked. I do his laundry and have learned to ask better questions as we watch some sort of football five of the seven days of each week. We are happy just “being” together.
Tomorrow we will travel to Nashville for the day to Christmas shop and celebrate these 27 years of God’s good grace to us. Maybe, I will wear his shirt again? But this time it will be on purpose - to remember and reminisce how God has been and continues to be the most important part of this relationship.
